Flaws
by Brackenpaw
Summary: "I would give my last drop of blood to save your kit," Leafpool meowed softly to Crowfeather. "You know that." When two lost souls meet again after an eventful day, they realize that sometimes remembering is just not enough. One-Shot set in "The Sight".


**A/N: After rereading "The Sight", and spotting this one particular sentence from Leafpool, inspiration hit me and I wrote this One-Shot.  
The sentence 'Sometimes remembering is not enough' is Crowfeather's, he mewed it in "Dawn". I cried. I really did.  
I'm still a huge Crow/Leaf fan, and I'm also still hoping for a happy ending for those two.  
While writing this, I listened to 'Flaws' by Bombay Bicycle Club. Highly recommendable, and so I decided to name the fic like this! :-)  
This gets a bit sad and emotional, but as you know... I'm a happy-endings-lover. I don't own Warriors! R&R! Enjoy! **

**F **_l a w s _

_Suddenly Breezepaw coughed and his body writhed as he spat up earth from his stomach and lungs.  
__"Will he be all right?" Nightcloud whispered.  
__"Yes, he will," Leafpool promised.  
__"Thank you, Leafpool," Crowfeather murmured._

_"I would give my last drop of blood to save your kit,"_

_Leafpool meowed softly to Crowfeather. "You know that."_

Suddenly Crowfeather turned around to see his mate still hovering over the apprentice, fussing over him as if he were a newborn kit.

Crowfeather flicked his tail and stepped forward, urging Leafpool against a tree.

"We need to talk. Meet me at the island at moonhigh," he meowed, leaving a speechless ThunderClan medicine cat there.

Jaypaw had disappeared along with his siblings, so Leafpool tried to catch her breath alone. Building a nest for herself beneath the tree, she quickly rolled up and put her tail over her paws, wondering what Crowfeather would want to tell her. _Does he know? _

If the light brown tabby she-cat was sure of one thing now, that was that she could not go back to camp now. Jaypaw would be able to handle Lionpaw by himself, and if she left the camp at moonhigh, some cat _would _notice.

Time passed, but for Leafpool, it just wouldn't. Counting her heartbeats, she watched the rain that had started to fall. Her breath steadied as she inhaled the soothing atmosphere, heard the raindrops touch the ground, sounding just like her and Crowfeather, their paws lightly pounding against the grass as they play-fought against another only three seasons ago. _Where did all the time go? _

Her eyelids felt heavier the more she returned to fading memories, still wondering why StarClan took everything from her that she would have sacrificed herself for. That she _had _sacrificed herself for. _Sometimes remembering is not enough._

Slowly and painfully, she fell asleep.

Panting heavily, a dripping wet cat nudged her awake. "Leafpool! Are you alright? I waited for you till dawn! Why didn't you show up?" the tom wailed.

Blinking her amber eyes open, she recognized the tom she'd spent so many starlit nights with, so many sunlit days. Just them. Together.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"You fell asleep. I can see that," he sneered, a clear spark of amusement in his voice. "Come on, get up. We need to get you warm."

Carefully, the medicine cat stepped on two of her aching paws. It had been a long day with the contest, and an even longer night.

_How can I have fallen asleep just like that? I'm such a mouse-brain! _

The rain was still falling, covering every leaf, every tree, and every animal in the forest. Leafpool had to withdrew a shudder. She really was freezing.

"It's all right," Crowfeather soothed her. Another shiver rocked her body as he pressed his smooth, black fur against her.

This was a thing Leafpool hadn't felt for many moons now, _Crowfeather _touching her affectionately. She banished the thought that it was merely for warming her up a bit into the deepest corner of her brain, enjoying the body contact with her former mate. _Sometimes remembering is not enough._

Finally, she stood up and flicked her tail.

"What brings you here?" the she-cat inquired. Crowfeather shrugged. "Why didn't you show up?" he repeated.

"I told you, I fell asleep," Leafpool winced. "What did you want to talk to me about, in such secrecy?"

"Uh- " the tom set on. "Come on, Crowfeather. _Moonhigh_, at the _island_. What could be so important?"

Anger hit Leafpool's body. Why wasn't he fussing over his kit right now? His and _Nightcloud's_ kit? He let her down. He never even let her talk back then.

"It's about Breezepaw…"

"What about him?" Leafpool screeched. "Doesn't Barkface know how to treat him, or what? And Kestrelpaw?"

"It's not about that, Leaf-" Crowfeather tried to mew, but she interrupted him.

"Well, in that case, I'm definitely the wrong cat to come to, Crowfeather. I thought you of all cats might have realized that."

"Leafpool! Would you listen to me now, please? For once!" Crowfeather exclaimed breathlessly. He separated from Leafpool to stand before her, facing her, staring into her amber eyes. _Those _amber eyes he'd stared into for so many nights… Those amber eyes he'd stared into when he saved a certain cat from falling into the hollow… _No. Stop. Sometimes remembering is just not enough._

The pretty she-cat nodded her head, and stared at her paws. Unable and terrified to look at Crowfeather. Weak.

"Leafpool, when you said this sentence yesterday, I realized that I-" Coughing.

She shrugged. "What?"

"I realized that I needed to tell you something I haven't told any cat. No one," Crowfeather meowed.

"And that is?," Leafpool inquired. "What sentence do you even mean?"

But she knew very well. She hadn't been able to hold herself back from saying what she had said. _I would give my last drop of blood to save your kit. _

"You know what I mean, Leafpool."

"Maybe."

"When you said that… I was asking myself about which one you were talking."

"Excuse me?"

"About which one were you talking, Leafpool?"

Panting, the realization hit her. _He knew. This fox-dunged piece of crowfood knew. And I loved him more than I could say. _

"You know."

Crowfeather nodded his well-shaped head.

"How?" Leafpool asked in a small voice. A voice so small as it had been when he'd first told her he loved her. _I loved her, I really did! How can I love you too?_

"The way you looked at Jaypaw. The way you looked at Lionpaw when he was hurt. He has your eyes, you know… And Hollypaw, well, look at me," the black tom murmured. He hadn't moved since he stood in front of her.

"Oh no… Crowfeather, I- I'm so sorry I never told you. I wanted to when I saw you on patrol…" _We need to talk. _

"But know that you have Nightcloud, and Breezepaw, I… I just couldn't," she exclaimed.

"He isn't mine."

"What?"

"Breezepaw. He is not my kit!"

"How?"

Leafpool was shocked, her eyes wide, her body clenching from the cold. So deeply she wished for him to come back to her, to warm her up.

But right now, she couldn't move a paw herself. This couldn't be!

Crowfeather let out a small _mrrow _of amusement. "_You _of all cats must know how kits are made."

"No," she meowed. "Uh, I mean, _yes_, but I still don't understand! How can he _not _be yours! You and Nightcloud have-"

A raindrop dripped into Leafpool's eye, and she shook it off. Just how she was wishing to be able to shake all the shock off of her. But she couldn't.

_You walk in my dreams, Leafpool_, he'd said. Then, they'd run away together, the sweet closeness of his body keeping her warm. _No. Sometimes it's not enough._

"I caught her with Webfoot in the forest, mating. Nightcloud didn't see me, she still doesn't know I know. And that was shortly before you and I ran off together. She had Breezepaw way too early so that he could have been mine. She's still got that thing with Webfoot… "

"Crowfeather, why are you telling me this?" Leafpool gasped.

"Don't you understand?" Crowfeather meowed in disbelief. His former mate shook her head.

"You said you would give your last drop of blood to save my kit! And that turned me mad! I _had _to tell you that Breezepaw isn't mine, and I _had _to tell you that I know that Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw are ours! Leafpool, I can't deny that any longer! I love you!"

Everything froze.

Raindrops fell down on them, smoothing their fur from the outside.

But there was love, smoothing Crowfeather on the inside.

"The kits don't know that they're mine," Leafpool whispered. "They grew up with Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw as their parents."

"I don't care," he whispered back. "I want to be with you." _You walk in my dreams, Leafpool. _

"Crowfeather, we can't- "

"Yes! We _can _be together now, and you know it," the tom hissed.

"What caused your change of mind all of a sudden?" Leafpool inquired.

"You."

"How?"

Crowfeather was the one looking at his paws now, clenching from the cold, shivering with all that he had.

"I don't love Nightcloud. I thought you knew that. I took her as a mate to prove my loyalty to WindClan… Just how you went back to your position as a medicine cat," he whispered.

"So?" the she-cat mewed.

"I'd give the last drop of blood in my body to save you, too, Leafpool. And our kits. Give me a chance to know them. Give me another chance to be with you, _please_…"

_No. This can't happen. I can't love you! But I do. More than I ever thought possible. _

"Why now?" Leafpool whispered. Her eyes had welled up, and she didn't know whether it was because of all the rain and the cold air, or out of emotion. The same emotion that she'd carried beneath her heart for many moons now, just as she'd carried her kits there. _Sometimes remembering is just not enough._

"Don't you feel it, too?"

Crowfeather was on the border to begging now. Leafpool sensed a strange kind of emotion in the air; there was sadness, anger, longing, desperation, affection, protection, hate, disappointment, regret, fear… _Love_.

She finally flicked her tail slightly, moving one paw. Slithering against the wet ground, it neared Crowfeather's night black one.

Leafpool sighed. _It was now or never. You are here beneath the rain with him. _

"Yes."

Their voices barely above a whisper, a purr rose from Crowfeather's throat.

"What does this mean?", he inquired, even if it was more to himself.

"I don't know. I'm still a medicine cat. You're in WindClan. With your mate, and your kit."

"I told you that -" he set on, but shook his head. "Nobody could ever mean that much to me as you do."

"I still feel the same, Crowfeather," the words slipped out of her mouth as quickly as the rain left the clouds.

"What now?"

"I don't know."

"Would you like to run away with me again?" Crowfeather meowed, with a brighter look on his handsome face than she'd seen one in moons.

"I can't! I'm mentoring Jaypaw, and - I have kits, Crowfeather! I can't miss out on them. I want to see them grow. But they can't know… Even Brambleclaw doesn't know. It's still a wonder that you figured it out," Leafpool responded. But her heart, and all of her senses told her to just say yes to him.

_Love is a precious gift,_ Cinderpelt had told her once. _Delicate, fragile, and easy to break. Once it ends, there's a new beginning, but it rarely ever does._

The truth hit her like a bite to the neck hit a mouse. She still _loved _Crowfeather, and he told her that he _didn't love _his actual mate, and he told her that his WindClan kit _wasn't his_, and he _asked _her to be with him. So what stood in her way then?

Her love wasn't as miserable as Cinderpelt's had been. The medicine cat had loved Firestar with all her heart, with all her power and strength, so much that sometimes even Leafpool had been able to feel that. But Firestar had never realized.

Leafpool had gone through many moons of pain now, without the one that she loved; only with three kits that were half _him_, but even _them _she wasn't allowed to be with, to reveal her real connection to them. And now? _Sometimes remembering it all is not enough. _

"I'd give my last drop of blood to save everything that we lost," Leafpool whispered.

"I love you. It never stopped."

"I know, Crowfeather. But sometimes remembering is not enough."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Silence. _Say it. Say it. Say it. _More silence.

"I want to be with you," Crowfeather repeated. "I'll do everything-"

"Shhhh!" Leafpool silenced him. "Listen to the rain. This is us, falling down. Falling down from our duties, our loyalties, our family. Do you want to risk it?"

Silence. _Just say it! _

"Yes."

"Fine!"

"What do you mean?" he meowed again.

"Join ThunderClan when Jaypaw has learned enough. I will step down as a medicine cat, and you will have to tell Nightcloud and Breezepaw."

Crowfeather's eyes widened in disbelief, his voice twitched and his fur fluffed up against the rain. It was still dawn, and no sun streak would light its path through the clouds. But he didn't know whether they'd been there for a moon, or for a mere heartbeat. It didn't matter.

"Why?"

"Because sometimes remembering is not enough," Leafpool meowed, approaching him a mouse-length more.

"And…?"

"I love you."

Their muzzles touched and their tails entwined, the sun finally shining down on them. The rain had stopped.

_Silence._

Four moons later Crowfeather and Leafpool, warriors of ThunderClan, welcomed Lakekit and Rainkit to the world.

**_Fin_**


End file.
